abit boring recently…work has become meaningless….its like missing some motivation….got a whole bunch of drawings to study but how to when i have to maintain the image of site stuff….

went clubbing on sat with edwin friends…stayed till 4 am..wow…realised that clubbing is no longer my thing…..lost that motivation…seeing other people there though made me realise that i should go out more…make that effort…..

today was a bad day…i dun know whether its right  or wrong…i wanted to cast first then followed by water feature walll…in the end i casted the slab till 7…sigh…i delayed another company casting till late…am i wrong?? kenna screwed by my senior engineer badly…abit embarrassing to be scolded by another singaporean…i dun know why…sigh…today whole day get screwed by so many people…i dun i am not suitable to multi task….got to do this got to do that …how how how…i spend so much time looking for drawings and yet i have to do ppi and casting….lets take a head count…what are the things that i am in charge of….i got to read drawings and cast them…i got to go for inspection and  make sure inspection passes..then i have check whether m&E has cleared and signed….i have check casting concrete and quality…i have to check safety and housekeeping…..i have to maintain progress….i have to go for ppi and archi side….sheesh man….so many things to do at the same time….its easy to instruct people to do but doing it myself is totally another thing….sigh…today and yesterday was bad….

just got transferred to cascadia for nearly two weeks…firstly i got to say that bfc people are quite bad…tell me the facts i can face it…why wait till the last moment then inform me that i am transferring…i only got 1 day to prepare…what the hell sia…rubbish…

now lets talk about this new place….totally different environment…RTo is so nice…so weird…the standard is totally different…whats happening….i feel so weird…i want to inplement my style but how to…..i think i will spoil the market….i am basically taking over this engineer…i think he sucks….handover was horrible….i felt so lost…drawings in a total mess….no system at all…no quality at all…i want to press down on my subcon also cannot…. how to press when i dun know shit…sigh…..well on the bright side no more super late nights…..everything has to stop by eight…fweee…..the management system here is different. i get to plan…wow….i get to do archi here too….yeah…think its an indication that if i can handle archi i will climb up the ladder soon…shiok..

senior engineer here i come!!!!

lately being listening to korean songs…attracted to those girl groups …fav now …SNSD!!!!! so pretty!!! sigh…the song sorry sorry also not bad…quite ke yan…haaaa

being feeling depressed recently. unable to concentrate for the whole week. just not in the right mind and my body is reacting in exactly the same way. off too

being feeling weird recently… old feelings are coming back…the feeling of what could have been if i had done things differently ten years ago. i miss it. i love it. i want it. so near yet so far. far always will be

work has been slow since i came back….guess all the major stuff has been completed. i can finally concentrate on the work instead of being so divided….better to focus on one than to be every where….

finally i took my long awaited trip.this time i went to malaysia taiwan and tioman. i wun go into specifics since i am not that kind of person. however it felt great going about all alone. travelling alone is a new experience. i went about without any communication devices. i was uncontactable. even though i got alot of stick  because i was deemed irresponsible but i felt i did the right thing.  even though every part of the trip was rushed but i liked it. in future i think i will do it all over again. i guess ultimately it comes down to the feeling at the point of time. do i want to travel alone or with people? travelling with the gang to kl was ok. there were some great experiences but i just felt it was weird. it was not that interesting. mainly because i went there a few times already. it was not that interesting to me. only thing interesting was the driving. wow travelling at 170km/h. thats scary. braking was also scary. i took the night shift. scary…….hjeee

on the whole glad i took the trip. didnt really spend alot of money. not really much to buy honestly. i think i shld do this more often. looking forward to the next trip….yeah

being really sick for the past few days…..shit sia…think the stress really buildng up….oh yah…i got pissed drunk…puked and puked and puked sia…..haaa…had great fun at the pub…made some really great friends….shoik

damn i am so bloody tired…ever since that idiot went on leave i have had so much work…on one hand i am doing so much cooordination but i am like runing so many places…my leg is killing me…..i wish i can just concentrate on one thing…..so many things…i have to read drawings of 3 places, run three  places, handle safety, do coordination, ensure progress, translator for subcon, ensure enginerering….i am doing worker, foreman, engineer and site manager……sigh…i only hope i can learn fast and grow out of it so much more and show it….Site Manager!!!! u are mine!!!!! 5 Years!!!!!

something funny happen to me the other day…my colleague asked me what skin colour of girl i like comparing dark and white…i replied normal..then she said we can consider dating…haaa…. i was stunned there…now this story is spreading all around to other departments….so paiseh…this is so not like me or her…haaaa